i went 2 uni 2day..
askd 4 extension..
seems i brk my hand T.T

i went 2 c d nurse 2day..she pressed dwn all d bruises..
i was screamin alot..

umff...
i had great time on wkend..
went 2 dom's place n played uno n drank =]

my fren sed 2 me dat i shud've learned manner b4 i hang out wif her..
shit..
its nt bout manner..
its bout me hvin hard time in my life.n i cnt cope wif everything.
she dsnt kno wht i've bn through...
she knows nth bout me!!!
she bta kp her mouth shut...

im damn annoyed!!!!!!!!!

I wk up @ 7 2day..
buttt...was so slpy..bt nd 2 go 2 uni..
i was in rush..
i 4gt 2 bring my lunch (T.T)
i went 2 bus stop n mt janice in thr..
we talked alot on d bus..
well..
dats y..i always gt sum1 2 talk 2 whn i was otw 2 uni ^^

1st lec was sooo boring..
i kpt sayin i was so slpy..
finally afta w8in 4 1 hour 10 mins..i gt my 20 mins break..
i played ds n read death note..

thn lunch time!!
i bought 6 sushi n 2 onigiri..
gosh..i wonda y i ate alot..

afternoon lecture..
its so fun..
its bout visual ability..
wht u fl bout wht u c etc..

n gt break 4 1 hour..
wonda y..but we finishd lec early but we still gt tutorial @ 3..
me,des,jan, n suzanne went 2 cafe..

afta we finishd tutorial,we went 2 lib..
i was so high..*bein so active*
i kpt doin stupid things..


then jan's dad dropped me off 2 home..*thx*

well..
im listenin 2 superwoman nw ^^

i went 2 uni on thurs.. gosh..its such a pain 2 sit 4 6 hours a day only 4 lecture.. i had assignment due bt managed 2 finish it on wed @ 1am.. but then i talked wif my fren..i ended up talkin til 3..thn i went 2 slp then wk up @ 7 on thur >.<

on fri i didnt kno which lecture rm i was in 4 mrng lect me n jan were lyk..whr is d lect rm????
it was soooo boring..
i had lyk...umff...6 sushi n 3 onigiri 4 lunch..
thn went 2 2 aftanoon lectures..
went 2 cty..
thn cooked fried rice..

btw
Desiree fell downn!!!!!
i cudnt stop laughin..
d chair in dat lecture rm...was..umff..well..u hv 2 put dwn d chair n once u stand up,d chair's gna b bck 2 normal..so once u wana sit,u hv 2 put it dwn again..
des stood up..she wanted bck 2 sit but she 4gt 2 put dwn d seat..
so she fell dwn...
i cudnt stop laughing during d lecture..
lol..
thn i went 2 cty..
wanted 2 watch iron man..*ken kps sayin iron guy*
but we gt thr bit l8..
cudnt b botha 2 gt comfy seat...
sooo..we decided 2 watch untraceable..
i was totally fine during d trailer
bt whn d movie had bn started 4 5 mins..i fell aslp..i wk up in d middle of d mv...
but its 2 bloody 4 me so ken covered my eyes wif his hand..n sumhw i fell aslp again thn wk up whn d mv was finished...

i went bck home..almost fell aslp on d bus..
hahaha...
i slpt str8 afta i gt bck hm..
ken kpt txtin me askin whr i was..

thn i went 2 cty on sat..
quite early..cz me wanted 2 spend whole day wif him..
we didnt do much..
only watchin dvd n talkin..
i wanted 2 go 2 fud alley..
bt thn they'r closed..
i went 2 izakaya daikoku instead..had cassis orange, takoyaki n karage..
*ken drank my cassis --"*
went bck home..


i went 2 cty again on sun..
but its bit l8..i went out bout 5ish
thn decided 2 go 2 fudtwn n was gna cook prawn wif butter *yum!*
afta we're dn wif shoppin..me n michael decided 2 walk bck 2 his apt *which's sooo far*
but we saw michael's car otw bck 2 apt..
ken n hide n hazuki n sawa went 2 hamilton cz hide had wrestling competition..
whn i saw d car..
i was soo pissed off...
cz i told ken 2 txt me once he gt in2 hamilton n when he's bck in akl..
he didnt txt me whn he gt in2 hamilton..he sed he 4gt bout it..
n he didnt even txt me s well whn he's bck in akl..

huh...
im craving 4 sushi since saturday..
all i wana eat is sushi >.<

I talked wif my fren early in d mrng..lyk 1 am..about our fren..

huh...i was annoyed..
was 2 tired s well..


i slpt @ 3..n wk up @ 6.45
n i bcm high this mrng..*noo..its nt bcz of alcohol..just being active..laughing alot*

i only had 2 lectures..but 3 hours each..wasnt it great???????
i mean..i didnt gt enuf slp..n had 2 sit 4 lecture 4 3 hours!!!!!dats y i txtd alot..played ds alot..

i talked wif jan..
we hv kinda similarity in our relationship..
me n her always manage time really well so we cn hv sumtyms 2 spend wif our bf..
our bf always cm 1st..*d point is..we always spare time 2 spend wif our bf no mata hw bz we r*

but d thing is...
they dn do d same..
they put us down in d list...
they always say bz..dn hv time..
so sumtyms..d list is like..
-uni works
-frens.
-sth
-sth
-sth
-us

so we were lyk...they shud know hw it flt 2 b us..

well..i was babbling around wif her alot since 12am..
yes ppl..
we chatted instead of doing essay..
lol..


btw...sum ppl mite say ken is childish..
which i hv 2 admit dat i agree...
but dats wht i lyk bout him..
he's so childish yet mature..
dats what i nd..
i nd sum1 who can balance me...
n i've found it in ken..

soo...2 whom it may concern..
jst bck off...

I was talkin wif ken whn i was doin my essay..

me: bub..im thinkin 2 go 2 jpn at d end of this year..

ken: *bz wif stuff dat jst arrived from jpn..looked at me* U CN STAY IN MY PLACE!!!!!!! *look excited sumhw*

m: but i nd u 2 sponsor me so i cn stay longer in thr..

k: we'll figure it out..lyk sponsoring u s partner?

m: yea..

k: i cn kiss u if they wana check if we r partner..thr's a concert in jpn only 4 partner n they hv 2 kiss in front of d security guard 2 mk sure dat they'r partner..

m: =.=;;;;;;;;;;

so yeah..
we r thinkin 2 go 2 jpn..
well..of cuz he's gna go earlier than me..
he wants me 2 spend 1 month in jpn..
he sed..i nd 2 gt use 2 life in jpn 1st..
well..myb b4 we decide 2 mv thr permanently..
lol...

i was in ken's apt..having lunch..
sum1 knocked d door..
its collin *d manager*
i was always thr when he came..sumhw..
he gave me 2 boxes..
i was lyk...THX!!!!ive bn w8in 4 this 4 agessss!!!!
i txted ken..."can i open it plsssss"
cz d boxes werent mine..even i knew most of d stuffs were 4 me..
whn i open it..
jang jang jang...

my death note!!!!!!!!
but hvnt gt # 1 n 10 yet..
ken called his dad n he sed there's anotha envelope cumin n my books r inside =]

thxxx....

baby's d best >.<
mwahh...

i really dn kno wht 2 do wif my life..
everything seems wrong...
i just want everything bck 2 my life..

s im struggling wif everything in my life nw.

あなたのこと　私は今でも思い続けているよ
いくら時流れて行こうと　ｉ’ｍ　ｂｙ　ｕｒ　ｓｉｄｅ　ｂａｂｙ　いつでも
ｓｏ，どんあに離れていようと
心の中ではいつでも一緒にいるけど
ｓｏ　ｂａｂｙ　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ただ ｈｕｒｒｙ　ｂａｃｋ　ｈｏｍｅ

ｂａｂｙ　ｂｏｙ　あたしはここにいるよ　どこもいかずに待ってるよ
ｙｏｕ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈａｔ　ｉ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｙｏｕ　だからこそ 心配しなくていいんだよ
どんなに遠くにいても 変わらないよこの心
言いたい事わかるでしょ?
あなたのこと待ってるよ

んなことよりお前の方は元気か?　ちゃんと飯食ってるか?
ちくしょう、やっぱ言えねぇや
また今度送るよ　俺からのLetter

過ぎ去った時は戻せないけれど　近くにいてくれた君が恋しいの
だけど　あなたとの距離が遠くなる程に　忙しくみせていた
あたし逃げてたの
だけど　目を閉じる時　眠ろうとする時　逃げきれないよ　あなたの事
思い出しては　一人泣いてたの

不器用な俺　遠くにいる君
伝えたい気持ちそのまま言えずに　君は行っちまった
今じゃ残された君はアルバムの中

アルバムの中　納めた思い出の
日々より　何げない一時が　今じゃ恋しいの
ａｎｄ　ｎｏｗ　あなたからの電話待ち続けていた
携帯にぎりしめながら眠りについた
あたしは　どこも行かないよ　ここにいるけど
見つめ合いたいあなたの瞳
ねぇわかるでしょ?　あたし待ってるよ

俺はどこも行かないよ　ここにいるけれど　探し続けるあなたの顔
ｙｏｕｒ 笑顔　今でも触れそうだって思いながら手を伸ばせば　君は


ｉ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｓｏｎｇ　ａｌｏｔ．
ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｗｈａｔ　ｉ　ｆｅｅｌ　ｎｗ．．．
ｃａｎ　ｙｏｕ　ｐｌｅａｓｅ　ｃｏｍｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ｈｏｍｅ？

I just talked wif my parents..
i askd my mom if i cn mv 2 cty..cz i stay in lib til l8 so i prefer 2 stay in cty..
but then..financial..
cz my bro's cumin here ths july..

thn my dad called me.
i told him i was gna go 2 uni soon..
he made fuss bout it.
he sed cnt u go 2 uni during d day so u dn hv 2 go bck hm l8?

dn stay ova 2 much etc..

i mean..
i did all of dat cz of assignments..
i didnt play around.
im damn tired as well..
hving lotsa assignments dats hard 2 understand.
im tryin 2 do my best in uni..
but thn..he responded lyk dat..
i kno he's woried of me..
but..
im trying my best 2 satisfy them..


i wish my mom didnt sell d apt jst 2 help my sis 2 gt this house..
i wish my mom was wise enuf 2 think dat she shudnt help thm..
i wish my sis didnt get marry wif this loser.who provide nth 4 my sis..all he gt was from my mom..he gt d house from my parents.n everything in d house.


i wish i cn gt marry young so i cn mv out from this house..
but me n ken had talked bout it..
we dn wana b lyk them..

so we hv 2 w8 @ least 4 years..

i wish...
i wishh..
i wishhhh...

I was in ken's apt in d afternoon...
try 2 enjoy myself..thennn...me n michael decided 2 go out wif our fren..whom we hadnt seen 4 ages..
but it was running bit l8..
we supposed 2 meet @ 6.30 but sumhw i met her @ 7.30 *gomenne*
we went 2 fud alley..
i bought teriyaki chicken butttt...it took them sooo long 2 cook it..
we had fun..
we talked bout michael..
lol..

michael was lyk..jess..shut up!!!!
thn she wanted 2 go home..
but then she missed d bus..n d nxt 1 was ages 2 cum..
so i told her y dn we jst go 4 drink in donkey..
soi went thr..
i bought gin tonic...
she bought green tea milk..
its yum tho..
thn we were thinkin 2 open a bottle *vodka*
but when i txted my fren 2 cum..she was wori bout d bus..she hadnt checked d last bus..

so we decided 2 go n check 4 d last bus and its 12am.
we went 2 my fren's bus stop coz he sed he was otw 2 bus stop...
thn we dragged him n his fren 2 go 2 donkey..
we were shame..cz my fren told them that she had 2 study 4 final exam but then we went bck thr..
my fren was bit drunk so we didnt open a bottle..
my guy fren sed he didnt wana drink but sumhw he ended up buying whisky+coke..
lol..
bt they had 2 leave early cz of d bus..
so me n my fren..only 2 of us..
she's drunk..n i ordered sake..
d waiter asked my fren in jpns if it wanted 2 b heated..n i sed..yes pls..they were so surprised..
lol..


n afta that..i went 2 geng's apt..she's hving bday..lol.
i was bit drunk..n michael was lyk..jess...dn do stupid thing!!!
kito gave me bacardi *nw i kno wht d hell bacard is..coz my fren kpt talkin bout bacardi*
thn we were talkin alot..
thn they decided 2 play scrabble..
we were divided in2 pairs..i was with eli...
1st 2 rounds were ok...
but after dat..
we were quite drunk 2 play scrabble..
we just put zook..n didnt kno wht d hell it was..
n d rest wanted 2 challenge us..
but thn we were..jst challenge us...we dn wana play anymr..

but geng insisted dat we shud kp playing.
so me n eli didnt even touch scrabble after dat..
they played 4 us..all i could say was..so is it our turn??

lol..
then we stopped playing scrabble..
me n rosie n kito talked alot...
but sumhw..rosie asked if its allowd 2 lv b4 marriage in indo n the philippines.
n i sed..nah..they r more closed minded person..
n sumhw kito touched d most sensitive part 4 asian..which is sex..
@ 1st..he only sed..umf..s..s...i was lyk..what d hell is dat??
sex?
thn he was so surprised..he couldnt even say it..
i mean...y do u hv 2 fl shame 2 say sex or even talk bout sex?!
its sth normal dats gna happen btwn girls n guys..sooner or later rite?so y do u hv 2 fl shame bout it?

kito told me dat he made his gf pregnant but they didnt hv 2 gt married in the philippines...n rosie asked him wht if they split up or sth..he sed he just split up wif his gf recently n he miss his daughter..

n i sed..if d girl's pregnant b4 marriage..
im sure d society gna look her as bad or sth..
they d guy has 2 get married wif d girl..
they called it married by accident..
huh..
its jussttt...soo..ridiculous 4 me..

n sumhw we talked further than dat..
lol..
its fun...

I went 2 uni 2 submit my essay on fri..
then went 2 cty..

I met reeve..
i txted him..whr r u?
he was lyk..im playing snoker in lvl 2 in acg..
i was lyk...what?!?!?!
but sumhw i managed 2 mt him..
thn we went 2 tanpopo!!!*again*
lol..


oh yea..i took bus 2 tanpopo..d bus driva was sooo rude..
i hvnt gt off from d bus but he already closed d door --"
then i gt gyoza n bought chuhi..
lol..
my fren txted him..sed..'say 2 jess i love u'
i was laughing alot..
lol..thn my fren decided 2 join us..
it was sooo fun..
lol..
but i had my fren's farewell @8..which turned out 2 b 9..

i met michael..thn went 2 favourite..
ken n hide sed they'r gna cum lata..
we finished dina about 11ish..thn decided 2 go 2 club in waterfront..
we wanted 2 go 2 float but its closed..so we went 2 a club nearby..
but dn kno y they decided 2 go 2 club name waterfront..
whn we were walkin 2 gt out from d hectic of dance floor..an indian guy spilled his drink on me..i was lyk..yo dude!!!!!!n he was lyk..soriii..

thn it was about 1ish..
we decided 2 go 2 margi..
it wasnt dat full..
me n acha was in d bar..n 2 guys were lyk..hey..how r ya..
acha n me only looked @ them n left thm..
lol..

i was outside wif acha..sumhw i saw a familiar jacket..
i kpt lookin @ dat jacket..
n i heard sum1 shouted JESSSSS!!!
lol..no wonda..its ken..n hide..
we decided 2 go bck home..
but d boys'r still gna drink..
lol...
it was fun...

me: ken..my neck's hurt...i think i need salonpas >.<

ken: jes..u sound lyk obaachan...

me: grrrr...itaiiiiii...

sth wrong wif my neck since few days ago...i think bcoz of d way i slpt T.T

its hurt...


nb.
i tot salonpas is indonesian product..
but it turned out 2 b japanese product T.T

it happened ages ago but its still funi 4 me..
ken n me were walkin to my bus stop then i saw a guy looked lyk kyon..
he went balcony in starbucks..
i tot ken tot he's kyon s well..
we were looking at him...

i was looking at him n i saw he waved his hand...
i told ken dat he waved his hand..
ken went 2 under d balcony..
n shouted "kyon'chan"
no replied..he shouted again..."kyon'chan"

then d guy went downstairs wif his fren..

jangjangjang...

he's nt kyon...

ken was lyk..i wont trust u anymore (T.T)

but hey..it wasnt my fault..
it was dark s well anyway..

lol..
but its sooo funi 2 c ken's face afta he figured it out dat he's nt kyon...

haha...
ive been playing professor layton and the curious village these days..
during d 1st few days..i didnt rili lyk it...but sumhw..im addicted 2 it nw...
i rili h8 whn i cnt solve a puzzle...
dats y..evrytym i gt hard puzzle, i always ask michael 4 help..
its sooooo fuunnnn....

anddd...
my death note is on 2 way 2 ken's home from japan...
his dad already sent it 2 auckland..
then he's gna bring it 2 my home.
yeayyy...
im so excited!!!!!!!!!!!
i cnt w8 2 read d comic!!!!

then ken's gna get R4..and protector 4 his mac..
lol....


i cnt w8 4 my death note...

umff...im kinda struggling wif my life nw..
evrything seems not in d rite order..

ken sed to me...do u rememba my dad called me lst nyt?n i sed yea..
ken sed...*drumroll*...his dad sed he has anotha 1...i was lyk...shocked!!!

dn ask me y...but i cried...
i didnt even think dat he wud hv it twice...
i mean..ppl around me r suffering from dat...
it took my grandad...my mom had it s well..
huh...

ken's dad is such a nice guy =]
hp he'll get well soon...


umf..so yea...afta dat..ken talked wif me..but i didnt respond @ all..
he knew i was in pain..
so many things goin on since end of last year..
he tried 2 comfort me..
we talked bout depression s well..
he sed depression is bout what ppl believe..nt bout d environment...

he sed...u hvnt smiled alot this year...i like smiling jess..not sad jess...
he tried 2 make me smile so badddd....

n sumhw he sed..jess..we stil gt long way 2 go..its such a small shit..

n he sed...dn do itai itai thing jess..i'll ask all God not 2 give u pain...but if u gt pain..i kno dat u'r stong enuf jess..

thn i smiled..

umf..dn kno..feel lyk my life's gtin hard this year..
but it wont ruin anything...
still..i hv 2 graduate nxt year...
lol...